The Heart of the Matter

If someone whether family, friend or significant other wrongs you, what justice do you think you can bring by exposing them? Do you want them to suffer, or do you want to keep others from being affected? If you want them to hurt like you hurt, what justice will it do for you to forcefully expose it to bring you peace? I can tell you the answer:nothing. Please hear me out. When you force it without letting the situation handle itself, it reverses the side effects back to you. It might feel good, but it does not always bring a brighter day. It only brings more divisive ways to break them, but it does not bring peace to the person or people who are affected. When I exposed someone who wronged me, that was out of emotion. This is why emotions are dangerous. I thought I was protecting someone else because it was a matter of health. It did not bring me peace at all. All it did was enhance my anger and make me feel justified to do so. The key word here is felt (emotion). I just…did not care until I reflected over it after turning my emotional volume down. I realized I was wrong. All it brought was more attention to the culprit. No one really felt sorry for me. They just wanted the ‘tea’ or the story so they could gossip about it.

It was never about that person. I felt guilty in the deception that person caused because I gave that person the benefit of the doubt. Out of being too trusting, I got betrayed and was deeply hurt for missing the subtle signs. As I grow more in peace, I have to extend some grace to myself and that person because the situation is bigger than I. This was very difficult to accept because the trust I had died with that person. Whether they wanted to apologize or not, I didn’t want to hear it out of fear of being deceived again. I am a gentle person by nature until I’m not. To think people cared was a selfish assumption (except my close friends). Pettiness only brings a temporary release, not a permanent resolution.

We have seen released videos expose and shed light on very serious and traumatic situations, but it still does not address the real issue! What is the heart of the situation? What is the root of the matter? Why does it take so long to get to the heart of the matter?

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