Candy Words

Gummy bears are one of my favorite sweet cravings (next to skittles and chocolate-covered almonds…judge yo’ momma!) . The Harigold brand is what I love the most because the flavor is so good! I could eat a whole bag one in setting, then get sad when it’s almost empty. The euphoria I get with seeing the bag of gummy bears and tasting them is the same feeling I get when a guy tells me exactly what I want to hear. You believe in God like me? Check. You’re dating with a purpose too?! Check. You desire marriage and kids? Double check! The words he says sound so good like those gummy bears, however the downside is the cavities that develop on your teeth from eating too much sweets. As I get to know the guy overtime, his sugar coated words produced cavities in my ear and heart canals. The words sounded great at the time, but his inconsistent actions left a bitter aftertaste. I love being mentally stimulated, but these candy words produced a temporary euphoria. Candy coated words don’t last for long, and I want more genuineness than superficiality.

Why aren’t folks honest enough and say what they mean instead what you want to hear? Why do we do this? Help me understand because this makes it harder for me to believe you as a friend or a potential love interest. Let’s explore Baeland and let me confess something. Sometime ago, I would feel a certain way when people would brag about their bae whether new or current. I was genuinely happy for them…but simulteanously, I was also single and I wanted to join the band wagon so I could earn bae bragging rights. Now, I’m in a place in my life where I no longer feel resentful or jealous when I hear people tell me who their new or current bae is. Oh yes-this quiet, soft-spoken girl felt these things and I know I’m not the only one who felt this (this is my truth-ask your own friends about their situation).

I’m currently single and now I’m truly very happy for couples who are in happy and healthy relationships. Why? Because I realized I listened to too many candy coated words which ended in failed relationships whether casual or serious. When I observe couples, I love to see see the look on their faces to see how true they are to each other. If things don’t look that way, I keep my thoughts to myself. Some couples do not look that way and it makes me sad. When I see a cloud shadow their face when bae is near, I immediately wonder if things are really okay if that cloud veil on their face is always there when I see them. For instance, when I hear them say “…bae is saying all the right things and I wonder is this truly real…” if led to do so, I ask them “Do you believe bae is doing what he/she is saying?” “Do you believe you two are called to be together…forever?” I’m not saying check every single thing bae says because we are human, but if that cloud still covers your face when you answer, that is a no. I can only describe it as a cloud, because it looks like their face is raining with sadness and they try to cover it up with a cloud. It’s like a veil, but I can see through it, but it’s not my place to ask. I’ve seen this on my face in pictures when I lost my smile. No one else could see it, but I could..but my smile is back.

Guaranteed. there is room left for human error, so I can understand accepting a perfectly imperfect person. It’s inevitable…but at the end of the day, do those words only taste like candy, and you need more, or do they taste like those healthy greens that reduce those sweet cravings? Is it to the point you don’t feel jealous or neglected when you watch other couples do what bae may not be doing? Literally speaking, do the actions and the words match? Words and actions can’t just match every now and then or sometimes…because those sometimes are only for the person to take from you without pouring reciprocity back into you. It’s like the analogy of having a half full or half empty glass, which is also where the problem lies. Whether your glass is half full or empty, you should always be poured back into mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Whether it’s a bae or a friend, they need to reciprocate and vice versa. Naturally, because I love to write, I love wordplay. I love similes, metaphors, personifications, alliterations, etc. The beauty of poetry, phrasing and lyrics is music to my eyes and ears! However, I have to apply my love for word play differently with people in real life situations. You can quote Shakespeare all day without understand what those words mean…they just sound pretty and taste like candy. Do you enjoy candy words so much without seeing the intentions behind it?

Photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash

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