Forgive My Exclusivity

“Being exclusive” is the new “going steady”. Is it necessary to establish if we dating exclusively? I used to think so until I had an intense conversation with a guy I dated three years ago. He did not see the difference with this term. I remember this conversation clearly on Election Day.

“Wait a minute,” I began. “I thought YOU said YOU wanted us to date exclusively?” He looked away and closed his eyes. It looked like he was trying to draw a picture of his words in his mind. What he said next painted the most contorted picture ever.

“I said I wanted to be exclusive with you because that’s what you wanted to hear.” Silent bombs went off everywhere in my mind. I was screaming silently. My head was ringing with blanks. What the hell were we doing together? More desperately, I still tried to fight for this…until I woke up the next morning. College Eryn finally woke up. I called the guy and said we will strictly be friends, concluding…whatever we were doing.

Fast forward to today, why does it have to be declared that we are only with each other and just each other? I feel like this should be known without having to verbally establish this.

What say ye readers? Are we overestimating this concept in modern world dating that we can’t see the forest for the trees? Are we using exclusivity as a safe net, a territorial device, or too scared to declare a commitment? Isn’t a serious commitment the main goal?


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